redeemed...

you know those times in life when something just speaks to your heart...and it's like it was put there at just the right time...just when you needed it most. well, that happened to me last night.

i was reading angie's blog...and her husband happens to be part of selah (a very amazing Christian music group)...and is scheduled to release a new album in august. one of their singles means an endless amount to him and his family so angie was able to share the song with the world (i HIGHLY recommend that you listen...it's amazing...and only available for three days)...

anyway, i listened the first time...then i had to listen to it again...and again...and again...

i laid in my bed in the dark, pressing the play button over and over, with tears streaming down my face...because this song has such a profound meaning to me. i have definitely had significant times in my life where i have been broken...but last year, i felt completely broken. it sounds so silly to say that my geography forced me into a place that was so dark and lonely...but there were times that i seriously wasn't sure how i was going to find it within myself to breathe...let alone be the kind of wife and mother that i wanted to be. i didn't know how i was going to let go of all that was comfortable to me...but at the same time, i knew i was never truly alone. God gave me the strength to keep going for my family...and some days, that was literally all i had to cling to. redeemed.

listening to the lyrics of this song, i realized how true they were for my life. many do not know, but jeffrey and i are going to have the opportunity in july to move back to my home town. this is something that i can honestly say i never thought was going to happen...but as i listened to this particular part of the song:

Life breaks and falls apart
But we know these are…

Places
Where grace is
Soon to be so amazing
They may be unfulfilled
They may be unrestored
But when anything that’s shattered
Is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be
Unredeemed

i realized just how amazing all of this is. something that seemed so ugly and unwanted at the time...so shattered...was just a place for God's grace to be found.

i prayed so hard for God to use this experience to strengthen me...to draw me closer to my husband...for none of it to be in vain. as i dream of what my "new life" will be like in just a few months, i can't help but be transported back to those devastating days when tears flowed from my eyes unceasingly. i could never have known what blessings were in store for me...

and what a lesson that should be for me...for anyone. God has a way of turning something that seems so hopeless...into something beautiful...redeemed.

i find myself faced with the possibility of living in the house i always dreamed of living in when i was a little girl (that just so happens to be next door to one of my best friend's parents), being blessed with the opportunity for ella and madeline to attend amazing schools that supposedly have endless waiting lists, having the privilege to deliver this precious baby in my home town with my doctor that i love, living close to my special family...

things are falling into place...what once seemed so broken...now seems so whole. redeemed.

there is hope in all things where there is faith...God is good...always...and even when we can't see the good - the seed is planted. the fruit...redemption.

i don't plan on taking one second of my fresh start for granted...i consider this my miracle...and i will not let this be unredeemed.