confessions of a frazzled stay at home mommy...

my ideal day: start off with a personal trainer dragging me out of bed for a nice body toning work out, my house would be pristine & tidy, my children would be dressed with matching monogrammed outfits, & a healthy dinner would magically appear and miraculously, my children would eat ALL of their vegetables!!!!

fast forward to REALITY:


from my current view - there is a load of recently washed, unfolded towels piled up on my sofa (from three days ago), a tricycle, cozy coupe, over 8 pairs of shoes...ranging in size from itty bitty to really big, a kid's chair, sippy cups, a dirty diaper, books, & a stuffed bunny rabbit...and that's just in my living room...you haven't seen the rest of the house... and i don't have the energy to get up and do anything about it. i haven't in a couple of days.

i am having one of those weeks. i feel like i am in a fog...just flowing from one moment to the next. it is in these days that it is very easy for me to nit-pic my mothering and "wifing" apart. i don't feel like i am reaching that all consuming pinnacle of "perfection" that i have set for myself...which is really hard to admit...but is there really such a thing? i truly believe that most of us are doing the best we can to take care of our families & give all that we have. sometimes it is easier than others. it is not ever easy to admit when we are "low" and it is certainly not ever easy to admit that we are not perfect. but i am certainly trying to fake my way through it.

as i sit here and ponder on all the things that i didn't do today...i think about the things my daughters (if they could articulate them) would say about what i did do today. i took them to the park and did the "spider" swing with ella, i rocked my little maddie, i pitted cherries for them at lunch, i watched ella perform the same "magic" trick at least 10 times and acted amazed at each one, ella got to stay up "late", & i told them at least a 100 times how much i loved them and was proud of them. in their eyes...i suppose i was perfect. that is really all that should matter.

ella tells me all the time "thanks, mommy - you're the best mom i could ever have"... why can't i believe it?

the thank you really goes to them.

my children try to teach me so much - every second of every day. why won't i let myself learn more from them? madeline was fussing loudly as we set out for our adventure to the park today and i turned around and said "maddie, quit throwing a fit"...to which ella replied "mommy, she is not throwing a fit - she is just crying". that really stopped me dead in my tracks. she was exactly right...i was in such a "mechanical mommy" mode that i didn't even stop long enough to realize that madeline was doing exactly what she needed to do to express herself. i told ella she was exactly right, shut my mouth, & turned around to do what i could do best in that moment...chauffeur!!!!

i don't know why this week is so hard for me...i know there will be ones a lot harder than this though. i won't ever be perfect - who is? one thing i do know for sure is that i always try.

the love i have for my two daughters is perfect...who cares that the rooms in my house are not.

"mom, this is the best day EVER..."

this was ella's sentiment over going to our first spray park! it was really fun and ella & i were squealing before we got out of the car!!!!! she was in such a blissful state that she kept saying "i love you, mom"...ok, so ella - do you want to go to this park every day?!!!!!!!!!!!!? the spray part consists of water spouts coming out of the ground...and "sprouts" of water basically coming from the sky. there was even a bucket that would dump on your head for all of you "you can't do that on television" nickelodeon fans!!!!

needless to say...ella had a fantastic time...& i LOVED watching her have fun!

madeline wasn't quite as intrigued with the water...but she did manage to find the one dog in the whole park! that's my little madeline!

after a couple of hours in the hot sun, lots of snacks, & lots of laughs...we called it a day and headed home!

thanks megsy, william, carrie, & ava for joining us on this fun adventure! we enjoy every second we spend with you!

until next time...

wordless wednesday...

heard & overheard volume 2

ella: i just gave birth to a new baby.
me: you did?
ella: yea, it came out of my gut where i eat my food. it hurt really bad and i was crying.
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”mom, you’re the best putter downer in the world. please come get me "- her plea to get me to put her to bed one night when jeffrey wanted to
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while we were walking around the pond, she wanted me to tell this woman approaching “hello”. when i did, she said “good job sister friend!”…we just cracked up!
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ella: “i love you, mom"
me: "i love you, ella"
ella: "i love you all the time"
me: melt,melt,melt
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coming in from going to the park with dad…"MOM, we saw honeyknuckles & they were all dried up and didn’t taste good!!!!”
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ella was reading to her baby & was telling the story of the three “traumatizing” bears…that one just made me laugh out loud!!!!!!!
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ella has two imaginary friends…freddy & “izaleth” (aka elizabeth)
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after getting a push pop at the 7-11 (yes, those still exist in this part of the world) & eating the WHOLE thing...ella says to me "mom, this is not really what i had in mind"

I LOVE THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!! there are so many more that i can't even share because you would just have to be here...if only we were the "truman show"!!!!!!

maddie's new verbage consists of pointing to her toe so that you will ask her "does your toe hurt" to which she replies with "uh-huh"...hilarious... makes me laugh every time and she knows it!!!!! more to come i am SURE!!!!!!

the story of us...

jeffrey & i celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary today...whew, what a seven years it has been! if you would have asked me when we met if i would have EVER been living in washington d.c., i probably would have looked at you as if you had just dropped down from another planet!!!!!! time sure does change things!

our wedding was such an amazing event - i LOVED every second of the preparation, the planning, & the day itself! i was SOOOO nervous...i remember telling one of my bridesmaids that i just needed to see jeffrey and she said "do you want me to go get him RIGHT now"!!!! of course not...i had waited for the moment when he would see me in my dress for the first time for an entire year...i wasn't about to blow that one!!!!!! my mom had helped me plan every detail - right down to the ice cold milk served with the chocolate groom's cake. it is a memory that plays in my head like an old song...i never get tired of hearing it.

jeffrey & i knew pretty much from the moment we met each other that we would be together forever. i was so drawn to his charisma & zest for life. he is one of those "my cup is overflowing" types...he rarely lets life get the best of him. i knew he would make an incredible husband and daddy. we had so much fun together - laughing most of the time!

he asked me to marry him on may 29, 2000. he planned such a memorable and sweet engagement...perfect for me & very fitting for the two of us! he sent me on a scavenger hunt to all our "special" spots and he was at my final destination!!!!! with a ring!

our life together hasn't always been a fairytale, but it will always be a special story. like a good book that makes you want to curl up on the couch and get lost in time...& snort with laughter too!!! jeffrey makes me feel safe and he makes me feel proud. there is nobody else that i would rather call "husband".

jeffrey, thank you for choosing me to be your wife. you are all that i want and more than i deserve.

p.s. i love you...me

extraordinary...

ex·traor·di·nary: (adjective) 1 a: going beyond what is usual, regular, or customary b: exceptional to a very marked extent

BASICALLY

having your husband schedule a surprise visit from my wonderful friend/sister in law and my adorable nephew!!!!! yep...i answered the door on friday thinking i was going to let my landlord in to have the house assessed and to my utter astonishment...amy & caleb were in town for a LONG memorial day weekend! we had such an amazing time! i don't think i stopped smiling for five days...

jeffrey opened the "daddy daycare" immediately and gave amy & i the opportunity to go to old town for the afternoon. we browsed in shops that would ordinarily be on the "absolutely, not in a million years would i take my children in there" list...lots of breakables & pretties!!!!! we had a chance to visit and catch up...which was very much needed and enjoyed!

on saturday...we hit the town...looking as touristy as possible! we took lots of pictures at the monuments - enjoying the memories we were making and the company we were with! the kiddos did so well & did some really swell posing!!!!!!! our last stop of the evening was at pop's old fashioned ice cream parlor for a late night treat! ella joined a singing quartet for a little performance of "twinkle twinkle"...how i wish i had my video camera for that one - what a moment i will never forget!

sunday we made our way to dupont circle to recreate a scene in "my big fat greek wedding"...except our dining experience looked a little bit more like a scene from "twister" or some other natural disaster movie!!!!!! ha,ha,ha! all kidding aside, we enjoyed a lunch at zorba's and spent the afternoon walking around soaking in the sights and sounds of the big city!

monday...the BIG girls went on an outing together! sweet maddie didn't make the cut (she has to be a wee bit older)...so amy, ella, & i headed out on the metro to georgetown! we had so much fun trying on the latest "in fashioned" items (as ella would say) & spending some girl time! miss madeline, we can't wait till you are a sidekick as well - it won't be long!!!!! ella keeps all of us laughing with her antics & her infectious smile!!!! after our excursion, we all geared up and went for an arctic swim at the pool! the kids lips were quivering & i am still trying to thaw out, but we got some great pictures - and that is what it is all about, right?! we then headed back to old town to enjoy a dinner of thai food...mixed in with way more laughs and good times!

today was wonderful as well! we spent the morning relaxing and letting the kids nap and then we headed to "the pit" so that amy & caleb could visit our "home away from home"! the girls and i spend lots of time at this park, so it was neat to share it with some special people! after a pizza party on the deck, the dreaded time came...they had to go.

that is the hardest part of any visit & the hardest part with any visitor...having to say goodbye. i choke back the tears because i don't want to minimize any of the joy i feel from having friends and family here...but there is an ache that covers me because i want to be leaving with them. every time i see a plane in the sky, i wonder where the passengers are going or where they are coming from. it is so much easier to bear all of this when i don't feel so alone. it is, however, what i have to do, so i suppose i will just keep my chin up...and wait for the day that i am on that plane for the last time.

my permanent smile is now back on the shelf...until the next round of company shows up at the door! don't get me wrong...there will be plenty of smiles going on around here...just not permanent ones! those are saved for EXTRAORDINARY times...such as those that i just experienced this weekend. thank you to my husband and thank you to amy. life is better thanks to the things you do.

sweet reunion...

hugs. laughter. friendship. comfort. patient chaos. love. sweetness. like no time has passed at all. pizza. first meetings. hard goodbye...

that's what i'll remember from today.

we love you davis family!