Saturday, October 6, 2012

there goes my baby...

it is so hard for me as a mother to put into words the love i have for my children.  even as i sit here tonight and write...i feel overwhelmed...because i don't know that i will ever be able to fully make them understand the depths of that love.

my ava ashley, my baby, turned three years old.

when ella & maddie turned three, i had a "newbie".  i was in the thick of "babydom"...diapers, nursing, middle of the night feedings, itty bittiness...& i loved every. single. moment. of. it.

now...that last baby...

is turning that incredible age of three.  that incredible age of three where suddenly they don't seem so little anymore.

every moment of the day she was born is seared into my mind and my heart.  i remember so many moments from ella and madeline's birth...two out of the three most special days of my entire life...but i vividly remember every detail of ava's welcome onto this earth.  maybe it's the fact that i actually got a good night's sleep before going into labor...

or maybe it's because i knew she'd be my last...and i knew i better hold on to the moments with everything that i have.

i remember the moment they told me that i was ready to start pushing...and thinking that i would be staring at my son very soon...and then this beautifully perfect, and tiny, and precious, and adorable daughter was placed against & in my heart.

another indescribable moment added to the treasure chest of my life.

i was now a mother to three amazing little girls.  my dream of being a mommy had now tripled.

i have cherished every moment of this third little daughter's life.  not every moment has been easy...most certainly many have been humbling...but all have been memorable and beautiful.

ava is the most passionate of the three...whether she is joyous or "angry"!  she is not afraid to let you know exactly how she is feeling...and there's a large part of me that admires that about her.  i hope that she will always possess the confidence to be matter what others may think.  she is loyal even at three years old...and is not at all bashful about telling you to "stop hurting her big girls".

she is often the most agreeable and obedient of the three...but also the most aggressive.  she talks unbelievably well for a "little person"...and doesn't have to work very hard for a laugh.

she has the whitest "blond" hair of any child i could have ever envisioned being birthed by me...and the bluest big eyes in the family.  she is still as "juicy" as ever (about 34 pounds)...and makes me smile so much my face hurts.

she's my buddy.  she loves to be "on the go"...and will often ask to go to hobby lobby!  she has perfected the "one finger touch" for the most part...and still likes to be armed with a holster of dumdums!

she is still the family "goat"...and will pretty much eat anything you set before her...particularly if it involves some sort of dip.  her latest thing to say whenever i tell her what we are eating is "mom, i LoVe that"!!!!!  sounds so cute coming out of her naturally hoarse, gruff voice!

she is very much into kissing me lately (which i adore)...and telling me that things are not my fault!  she got bitten by an ant the other day and when i said "oh ava...i'm so sorry"...she said "mom, it's not your fault"!!!  such a grown up :(  *sigh*

she still thinks that it should be perfectly acceptable to eat candy for breakfast...and still looks shocked and horrified when i tell her that that is not a breakfast option!

her face is scrumptiously sweet...rivaling her buns...and her mischievous smile melts my heart.  she's the only one of my girls where a call from the principal's office would not be totally inconceivable...although i'm praying about this...& i think she's getting better!!!!!  ;)  she challenges me...simply because we're wired so differently (at least as this point)...but we go together like peanut butter and jelly!!!!  she loves to tell people about when "she was a born baby and lived in my tummy"...

i love her more than life itself...

and i hope that she always knows...

that even though she may be turning three...already...she'll always be my...

"big girl" baby.  (she would want me to clarify that for sure!)

happy birthday, my little lovie.  you are the song of my heart and life would not be complete without you.  i love the fact that you tell me that you missed me while you were sleeping...and that you tell me when i need to apologize to you & you forgive.  i love that you are YOU...
i love that you still want to take a bath with me every opportunity that you get and that you ask me so many wonderful questions!!!  i love that you sleep with so many "special things" that you hardly have room for you...and that you still need ice water every night to sleep.  i love that you love my music...and tell me with your sweet smile that you "love that song".  i love that you will suck either thumb...depending on which one tastes better!  i love that you are hands down the best. car. traveler. EVER!  i love every special thing about you.  i pray that life brings you as much joy and happiness as you have brought us.  mommy loves you more than you could ever comprehend...and i will spend the rest of my life making sure that you know it.  

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