picking up the pieces...

the move is over and i suppose with it, the worst part of all of this. it was extremely heartwrenching to walk through 207 epernay loop for the last time, knowing that we would never be back. all i could think about was all the secrets the walls kept and how much i would miss living there. i will tuck those memories into the deep crevices of my heart so that i will never forget...i know there is no way i will.

jeffrey made it to D.C. late last night and as i write, is watching our things unload into our new home. he is exhausted but seems to be pushing full steam ahead...we will be glad when he will be back with us - it was hard to do this without him. the girls are having a great time at "honey & grandpa's"...ella is practicing her normal "sleep fast" while we are here which makes for some fun times for mommy. madeline is just happy that there are bananas and of course, her special lovie! we had a little scare when we couldn't find her lovie on thursday...seems one of them got packed in with the MANY boxes!

we are looking forward to a fun week in shreveport before we saddle up and head north. it still seems very surreal that all of this has really happened...didn't christmas just happen about a month ago?

i have begun another countdown of sorts...i have exactly 6 more days of sonic drinks and then withdrawal begins. yes, you read correctly...there are NO SONICS IN OUR AREA...there may not be any in virginia for that matter. i have my work cut out for me - a new mission if you will. i have to find a place to purchase a drink that includes styrofoam, pellet ice, fountain coke, a cup that could hold a small pond, that also has a drive through...i think i am in trouble. any suggestions from fellow "yanks" would be appreciated. as if things could be any more unsettling...

thanks to all of our friends and family for your support during this challenging time. larry tucker - what would we have done without you. i am sorry i couldn't tell you bye the other day...words failed me through my tears. i send a huge "thank you" to you...what a rock you have been for my family. mom & dayne - you were there when i needed you the most. thanks for your hugs and for letting me grieve right along side you. thank you for loving my babies when breathing felt too much for me to bear. i love you more than you know.

we arrive in d.c. sunday night and begin picking up the pieces that this past year has shattered. i am hopeful that from all the rubble something beautiful will be created. i have high hopes that with this new beginning, jeffrey and i, along with our beautiful daughters, can begin investing in each other and experiencing life together...as a full time family of four. (hopefully, with lots of guests!!!) the certainty of life is that there will be change and that there will be hurt...we cannot deny that. the certainty of family, though, is that we will always be loved and we will always have people to love. i suppose that is the canvas we all start with and the rest just falls into place.