i'm struggling...

period.

i don't exactly know how to crawl out of this place...i feel completely stuck.

i have returned from an absolutely AMAZING vacation to mexico with some of my oldest, dearest friends...and it's been hard for me to rebound since being back. can't really explain it.

(i promise to post about it though...truly was the best trip EVER...)

it looks like the unfortunate and unbelievable time has come for us to say goodbye to our precious emma. the cancer seems to have spread to her eye...and let's just say...it looks like something from a horror film. every time i look at her sweet, sweet face, my heart literally breaks and aches more than these measely words can express.

i wanted her to live until i got home...and she did. but now it's time to say goodbye. and i feel so lost. and oh so empty.

please pray for my family...because friday afternoon, jeffrey and i will lay with our sweet "first born" and wait for her to peacefully fall asleep. forever.

how does a person do that?

i hate that i'll have that answer.

once again, the tears seem like they will never stop flowing because i will miss every special thing about this amazing dog. she's been like our family's hero. protecting me all those nights that jeffrey worked out of town. keeping me company when loneliness crept in. sleeping at my feet in whatever room i was in. watching out for my girls while they played in the yard. looking at me with those sweet eyes.

i will miss her all the days of my life...and cherish those that i spent with her.

well done, emma lou. you've loved and been loved more than any dog could have dreamed of. sleep well, ole' girl. you will never be forgotten.