it might sound very silly to those who don't either "own" a blog or read them regularly (i happen to fall into both categories!)...but i am profoundly affected by both. writing and reading.
i started my family's blog back in the fall of 2007. i was facing some of the darkest and scariest moments of my marriage and parenthood. if i allow myself, all of those burdening feelings come flooding back so quickly. i knew that a move was impending...and not a welcomed one. i knew in my heart that i was about to be relocated with my two tiny daughters to a place that seemed vast and unfamiliar. i would be moving to our nation's capitol. i was terrified.
somehow writing about those feelings...that deep hurt...made it easier to bear.
it also made it easier to detect when those clouds began to lift...and life seemed to regain a little bit of normalcy. when my heart didn't hurt quite as much.
i have loved documenting lots of other precious moments. rejoicing over new life and the blessings that a new baby brings. welcomed relocation! lots of firsts. funny, funny nuggets from our children. times when the love for my family is so overwhelming and palpable that the english language seems insignificant.
it's like taking a trip down memory lane that never gets old...and never requires the obligatory "are we there yet?".
i love when my children ask to see pictures of something they remember us doing together. i love when someone comes up to me in the grocery store and tells me that they read my blog...and as was the case today, an incredibly sweet person called me specifically to leave a message that i will never forget. she told me that she appreciates the way i love & express my love for my family. my soul smiled. seriously.
of course, i do not write my blog with the intention of seeking affirmation. i would post if i were the only person reading. but knowing that there are people out there that do makes me feel good...and knowing that this sweet "mommy friend" of mine loves her little people too also makes me feel good. it's a win win.
yes, the blogging world is amazing.
not only do i get to experience, through written and photographic evidence, as many memories as i would like...i get to peek into the amazing lives of so many other people. some are famous...and some are ordinary like me.
some are posting pictures of disney world and giving the play by play of their vacation. some are motivating others by posting pictures and recipes of healthy food. some are giving birth to or expecting beautiful, healthy babies.
some are on a journey so horrible...that a physical pain attacks my heart - when i read the terrified words of a mother caring for her baby that has been diagnosed with cancer. you don't have to know one cell of that human being to understand what she must be feeling. but you know she needs prayer...so you pray.
some are stuck in a valley of guilt & hopelessness...maybe they feel they are letting their children down by not being "enough". you know she needs encouragement...so you comment to let her know you care.
friend. stranger. acquaintance.it doesn't matter. we're all swimming in the same direction...towards the same goal...with the same intention. loving our children and our families with the best that we have.
luckily, i don't experience any negativity on my blog...but some people do and that saddens me. i just read a post from a hilarious blogger...that wasn't so hilarious. she was feeling incredibly defeated and judged for making the choice to stop breastfeeding even though she was producing bloody milk.
it made me wonder..."why do we as women do this to each other?".
why do we conduct ourselves in such a way that would make another mom feel less than? why do we insult someone's intentions instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt? why do we not rally around one another more...and criticize less?
it certainly makes me want to give myself a thorough check. make sure that i am doing all i can to support those fellow moms.
and let's face it...who doesn't like to see a comment added to a post! it makes my day!
the blogging world is fascinating. i love it.
i'm so thankful that the legacy of my love will live on in my words far after i am gone (which i hope is a very long time from now). that there will be no doubt in the minds of my daughters and my husband and my family that my love was true. and pure. and abundant.
that i tried. and failed. and picked myself up time and time again. to then succeed.
because that is what life is made of.
yes, the blogging world is incredible...
and i look forward to the rest of the story...