Monday, January 28, 2008

picking up the pieces...

the move is over and i suppose with it, the worst part of all of this. it was extremely heartwrenching to walk through 207 epernay loop for the last time, knowing that we would never be back. all i could think about was all the secrets the walls kept and how much i would miss living there. i will tuck those memories into the deep crevices of my heart so that i will never forget...i know there is no way i will.

jeffrey made it to D.C. late last night and as i write, is watching our things unload into our new home. he is exhausted but seems to be pushing full steam ahead...we will be glad when he will be back with us - it was hard to do this without him. the girls are having a great time at "honey & grandpa's"...ella is practicing her normal "sleep fast" while we are here which makes for some fun times for mommy. madeline is just happy that there are bananas and of course, her special lovie! we had a little scare when we couldn't find her lovie on thursday...seems one of them got packed in with the MANY boxes!

we are looking forward to a fun week in shreveport before we saddle up and head north. it still seems very surreal that all of this has really happened...didn't christmas just happen about a month ago?

i have begun another countdown of sorts...i have exactly 6 more days of sonic drinks and then withdrawal begins. yes, you read correctly...there are NO SONICS IN OUR AREA...there may not be any in virginia for that matter. i have my work cut out for me - a new mission if you will. i have to find a place to purchase a drink that includes styrofoam, pellet ice, fountain coke, a cup that could hold a small pond, that also has a drive through...i think i am in trouble. any suggestions from fellow "yanks" would be appreciated. as if things could be any more unsettling...

thanks to all of our friends and family for your support during this challenging time. larry tucker - what would we have done without you. i am sorry i couldn't tell you bye the other day...words failed me through my tears. i send a huge "thank you" to you...what a rock you have been for my family. mom & dayne - you were there when i needed you the most. thanks for your hugs and for letting me grieve right along side you. thank you for loving my babies when breathing felt too much for me to bear. i love you more than you know.

we arrive in d.c. sunday night and begin picking up the pieces that this past year has shattered. i am hopeful that from all the rubble something beautiful will be created. i have high hopes that with this new beginning, jeffrey and i, along with our beautiful daughters, can begin investing in each other and experiencing life a full time family of four. (hopefully, with lots of guests!!!) the certainty of life is that there will be change and that there will be hurt...we cannot deny that. the certainty of family, though, is that we will always be loved and we will always have people to love. i suppose that is the canvas we all start with and the rest just falls into place.

Friday, January 25, 2008

the final countdown...

we have one more night in this home, in this town. i am rocked to my core and i am scared. i know once it is over, it will be etched in history and I can get on with it. until then, i just have to be real and hold on tight.

it feels so strange to be sitting in my house that a few days ago felt so comfortable and so much like home...and today it feels so uncomfortable and lonely. as the moving company was here yesterday taking down, packing, and loading...i found myself just wandering around peering into the bright pink and yellow rooms that ella and madeline have spent so much time in. i can't believe that in a matter of hours, we will get in our car and leave. we are leaving so much more than these four walls. we are leaving the birthplace of our children - one that likely they will never remember. we are leaving friends that have known our kids since the moment they were born. we are leaving the place that jeffrey and i started our life together. simply...we are leaving.

what i also hope we are leaving behind though is the mark of a family that loved their friends with all they that won't easily be forgotten. the mark of four little people that make up the "price family" that hopefully all of you will remember - and maybe smile a little bit because you know how much we loved you.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

new rental...

that would be our new address. alexandria, virginia. to say that our daughters were troopers would be a huge understatement...they were confined to their car seats for the vast majority of this trip and they did absolutely great! i can honestly say that they did much better than i did.
we looked at LOTS of houses and saw LOTS of interesting dwellings...that is a nice way to put it. we finally settled on a house that is has 7 bedrooms. we WON'T have enough furniture to fill it, but it was the only one available in the kingstowne area. there are many things that i will have to learn to overlook...i am sure that will come with time. i also know that when our special things arrive it will feel more like "home".
i held it together reasonably well...that is until we got home to our house in little rock and the tears started flowing. again. i look forward to the day that i don't feel like someone is sitting on my chest. that i don't feel the huge lump that has been permanently lodged in my throat. the thing i dread the most about all of this is the anticipation of what is to come. i don't know what to expect about leaving this place for good and that scares me to death.
all i could think about as we were landing at BWI on sunday night was the scene from
the movie "when a man loves a woman" when andy garcia lands in denver without his family and says to the entire plane "welcome home" in a very shaky, fighting back tears kind of way. i don't know how long it will take for the idea to sink in that we can't call little rock "home" anymore.
sure, lots of people move. i, however, am not lots of people. i don't do this well. i have to try to bluff myself and pull from some inner strength in order to see this as an "adventure" because everything built into my DNA says to run and get the heck out of dodge.
while things seem so overwhelming and sad, i have been given a wonderful blessing. one of my best friends, amy theriot, put me in contact with a sorority sister of hers that happens to live in D.C. i talked to her several times on the phone and corresponded through email before we went up there. she is FANTASTIC!!!! we met her and her family for dinner last night and i feel like i have known her forever. she has an 11 month old little boy who is precious. madeline scared him a little though with her loud "HEH"!!!! i am sure he will become immune very soon!!!
she seems to have made it her life's mission to help me and my little family get settled and for that i will forever be grateful. i look forward to lots of play dates, dinners, and day trips with "team barron"! she is not getting away now!
in order to document the before and after of our new house (because there WILL BE AN AFTER)...i am going to include some pics for all to see. don't get jealous of the beautiful drapes and fixtures...we happen to be the proud new renters of those gems. aren't they "pertty"?!
i will continue to keep everyone posted...most of you folks need to get on the stick and contact the "price bed and breakfast". our calendar is NOT filling up, which means i have less to look forward to!!! hey, we have plenty of all may just need to bring your beds!!!!

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Maddie's Little Rock Party with the Prices

Here are some pictures from Madeline's party today with the Prices...

Maddie's Shreveport Party

Here are the pictures from Madeline's 1st birthday party in Shreveport...

Thursday, January 3, 2008


well, now i find myself chatting over email with complete strangers about what pediatrician i should use and where i should send ella to preschool...this is just weird. i am completely numb.
we had a moving company come today to give us an estimate and as he started his survey he asked if we had any questions, to which i replied, "do we have to move?". part of me is really we have to move?
i have slowly but surely been calling my sweet friends here to tell them that we will be leaving in three weeks. i had to wait a few days for the initial shock to wear off so that i could actually speak while on the phone. we will have a very busy social schedule for the remainder of our time in little rock trying to catch up with friends...probably good since our social schedule in D.C. looks pretty bleak right now!
my amazing friend lori and i are still in denial that this is happening. she has made little rock feel more like home than anything else and from the moment i met her she was like instant family. i love her and her little family like my own and we will miss them more than words can say. "quaquine" (aka caroline) is ella's best buddy and i have no doubt that miss madeline will love sarah just the same. miles may separate us but i intend to nurture this friendship for a lifetime!
madeline is officially walking...still resorting to her crawl when she has a need for speed...but nonetheless, it is game on for me. ella is a FANTASTIC big sister and i cannot wait to see how they continue to bond with each other...i could not get through each day without both of them. they don't even know it, but i need them more than they need me right now.
as it stands, january 24th will be the last night we spend in this house as a family. i dread it with every fiber in my being. i can only hope that this numbness sticks around long enough to see me through the leaving part...because otherwise, i sure don't want to go.
i don't know how to.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

christmas 2007 at 207 epernay loop

just wanted to pass along the pictures of our christmas celebration...for obvious reasons, it will be a holiday i will never forget.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A post from the Web Editor...

Well...I thought I would leave a post on our family blog to give an update on my thinking and what I am feeling through this whirlwind of action and emotion.

First, I definitely am not just relishing the idea of the move and all of the stress that will accompany such a drastic change in locations. I know that it will be very tough for Meredith because of all of the emotion of leaving and the fear of the unknown. However, I am confident that this move is the right decision for our family right now...regardless of how long it lasts. While I have not had the maturity or fortitude to support Meredith enough or provide the right kind of leadership during our first 6 years of marriage (and law school, work and child rearing), I am determined that this move will start a new chapter in our relationship and in our family life. I realize, more than ever, how much Meredith needs my prayers, my friendship and, most importantly, my compassion and understanding.

Meredith is such an amazing woman, friend, wife, mother and life partner, and I can't believe that the Lord has chosen to bless me with such an incredible gift. The way that she tempers my ambition and keeps me focused on my true priorities makes me realize how important she is to me. I am very conflicted about this move because I don't want to be sacrificing my family or causing any conflict in our relationship, but I really believe that this move is going to be a good experience for our family. While it won't be easy or comfortable, true personal growth rarely is. This opportuntiy is one that rarely comes seems to be a fit with my experience, my ambition and my desire to spend time with my family. It is rare that a young associate is able to work for a firm that does not have a high demand and allows a flexible schedule. While I know that Meredith and I will have to work through all of the emotions and consequences that will be a part of this transition, I hope that we will look back on this experience as a blessing from God and a critical turning point in our relationship. I am truly thankful for my family's health and happiness thus far... and especially grateful that we are not in control and that we can rely on this promise: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Rom. 8:28

With that, some of my prayers and hopes for this next year are: The right house will come open during the next three weeks and the move will be relatively smooth; Meredith will find peace and comfort from above (and in my support) during this time and our relationship will actually flourish through this adversity; The job will be as flexible and ideal as it seems right now; I will continue to grow emotionally and spiritually and that it will foster trust in Meredith; and that Meredith will find a true friend and many activities to make life enjoyable in our new location

I hope that each of you has a chance to come up and visit (we will mark the calendar for each visit and count the days...I can promise that :) ) and that your new year is all that you hope for!!! We are thankful for our friendships and family and love each of you!

Happy New Year!!!